crankygirl productions


he loves me, he loves me not

I am jealous of someone I've never met. This is a romantic jealousy. I realise I had big plans. Generous letters, billet-doux, and whatnot, figured in said plans. It's ridiculous, because I know, a) this chap is not really my type (I read his blog), and he doesn't have that weak-in-the-knees kind of looks (sorry, you are cute, but not ddg), and b) I love someone else. It must be May.

Last night I dreamt that I was protecting (in the FBI tv sense) a young boy. He was about 4 years old, and had long hair, down to almost his knees. It was ash blonde, but a lot of it was grey. Almost a Jesus-like figure. He was wearing a black hoodie, and a mask over his nose and mouth, also black, for security. I was kneeling beside him, feeling quite scared, but also able to offer comfort. R. woke me up because he said I was wimpering. Again. I do this when I have nightmares, but this was not really a cauche-mar. It was almost pleasant.


"I want a little steam on my clothes
Maybe I can fix things up so they'll go
Whatsa matter Daddy
Come on, save my soul
I need some sugar in my bowl
I ain't foolin'
I want some sugar in my bowl"

Nina Simone [née Eunice Kathleen Waymon] passed from this world two weeks ago on April 21st, 2003. Obituaries: The Stage | BBC News

I heard a nice tribute to her on co-op radio this weekend, citing her disgust with racism in America as one of the main reasons she left that country.

"The name of this tune is Mississippi Goddam
And I mean every word of it
Alabama's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam "

Rest in Peace


Cheese consumption successfully completed. Some chocolate bunny also found it's way into the digestive track. Both seemed to be handled with little negative effects. hoorah.

Spring cleaned my hard drive the other day. Two years ago, my entire hard drive was 2MB. I was ruthless with trashing unused files, compressing older ones, and flattening layers in photoshop. Now, I've become wasteful. It was only because I couldn't save a tiff file (at 185MB) because the disk was full , that's F U L L, that I was forced to go through the byzantine maze of folders and files to trash and flatten. I am now left with 1.67 GB available on the offending drive. Insufficient for the video editing I hope to do eventually. Of my friend's wedding in October 2002. Luckily I have two other partitions from which to squeeze out some space.

are you still mine?


I gave up cheese for lent. It's an old habit, done mainly for answering to some guilt I suspect. That said, I wonder how I'll handle the re-introduction of the decadent dairy product. Will the digestive system reject it? Will it rejoice? Will it over-do? Que sera sera

Read a decent article in Utne magazine about time. How we have this tendency to fill up our days, multitasking, multi-booking, multiplying our way towards heart disease. Like reading the article on time while running on the treadmill, keeping tabs on speed and distance. But it also said that we no longer make time for the spontaneous, for the casual conversation, for the smelling of the proverbial roses. I must disagree. Why just today, I allowed myself a reverie while on the bus speculating about the woman with the long blonde hair. 1/3 of it was trailing over the edge of the seat, in the stairs where people get off the bus. Her hair was shiny, blonde but with just the right amount of ash streaks to look natural. It sort of gently curled up over the edge of the grimy metal backing of the equally dirty bus seat. Almost glowing.

looks like Cyrano


It's spring. I've updated the stylesheet to give a more cheerful appearance to this page.

This cat looks a lot like my former cat, Cyrano. Except for the paws. Cyrano's had black spots. Other than that, I would almost suspect a theft (catnapping?). I miss Cyrano.


I have been slacking off on updates. This is what happens when there are too many thoughts spinning simultaneously around the little grey cells -- inertia of sorts
p.s. way to go Michael Moore. I sent him a supportive email using my real name. Afterwards I worried about being on "the list".

statistics from one project

A big, stocky man, in his late 50's I think, upset me quite a bit today. He was a stranger, and is probably drinking a beer and eating mashed potatoes right now, while I am trying to figure out a clever way to describe my encounter, and failing. So, I check stats instead. These are from another site of mine.


pietons rules350,000 year old footprints found in Italy

Picked up my new glasses today. In fact, I've been wearing them since Friday, but the frames were a wee bit damaged, so I just got the brand-new ones: frames without defects. After several days, I no longer see the hills as 75° angles looming before me, and the kitchen table is vertical too, thank you very much. Slight distortion of depth perception is present though, causing me to walk gingerly in traffic, which, given my history, is a sensible action.


Semi-useless posting just so I can have the triple 03s here. I wonder if numerologists would find today lucky?

I ordered new glasses. For the first time since I had big blue ones that made me look like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. Now I can be chic and stylish once again. They are Italian, and red, so I hope so.


Just back from the other end of this big country, where I experienced slush, snow, and streets covered in sheets of ice, resembling something from a play. Very cool, but glad to be back on the west coast where my clematis is sprouting. [yes, M.E., I was away again...]

lucky elasticsDiscovered today that I am truly superstitous. Found out in this fashion: while organizing stuff for taxes (zzzz), I was about to bundle all the envelopes with a red rubber band. It fit, and seemed like a good choice. But as I did so, I thought, hmmm, "being in the red means being in debt..." -- so as I had no black elastics handy (although those would be nice wouldn't they?), I bundled everything in a lucky blue elastic. I do hope the Government appreciates my efforts.
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